Thursday, May 7, 2009

Drawing blood out of a stone.

There are days when I feel that the world is so unjust. Everything bothers me: my job, my room, my debt, my lack of time, my lack of motivation. I feel mistreated, misunderstood, and taken for granted. I feel that my talents are not truly appreciated, that people do not see how hard I work and how much effort I give. This self-righteous chip on my shoulder causes feelings of anger, and the expression of such feelings, alienation and upset in those around me. In my self-imposed bubble of isolation, I then experience a moment of honesty:

I am the problem.

All around the world there are beautiful, talented people who are not appreciated, not validated, mistreated, misunderstood and overworked. And what do they do? They work through it with integrity and strong, admirable character. They prove themselves, earn respect and rise, weightless, to the top. They can float, because their conscience does not weigh them down.

Be better than this.

(Painting by Rene Magritte.)


Marty said...

Be better than this indeed, you have 36 public followers and countless private one's (myself included) because you are a talented and hard working artist.

I understand getting down, we ALL get down but please realize that to me at least you are not a problem. You are a light in the darkness. I love your artistry, your poetry, and your style.

LeLe said...

Wow, I feel like this some times and more often than not lately. But as you said, we are the only ones who can make it better. It changes with us and how we feel about ourselves.

I'm having a particularly hard day mentally, so I definitely know where you are coming from. Chin up, love.

UrbanJunkies/zuppaartista said...

oh my sweet, i totally understand how you feel. i feel like this all the time & it fuels my anxiety like crazy! but be comforted in knowing that others feel the same & appreciate your beauty. *big big big hugs!*

grecian goldsmith said...

Thank you so much everyone. Your empathy is encouraging. Love to Marty, LeLe and Michelle.

Parallax said...

"Be better" is wise advice, indeed. We all go through these patches and feelings (I know I do!) -- may yours be brief, and may the rest of us remember to keep trying to rise above it, too

pledgedrose said...

Your striking honesty threads an ache into my heart, dear one.
If there was ever a time to wish I could provide satisfactory comfort in person, it would be now. I long to whisk you up in the squishy-est hug you ever had.

I do not wish to impose on your finely tuned musings, my dear, but I shall say that you are admirable in your faults as a creator, artist, poet, muse and all else that you seem to encompass in your completely admirable person. My lovely, divine dear, have heart and know that it is in these adversities of the self, as well as external, that sculpt us into the finest of characters.

As Magritte challenged the concepts of the representative arts, may you too take flight above the things in which constrict you - anxiety, doubt and all.

All my love.

sleeping poet said...

Pledgedrose - You are my muse. Love.